I hate being sick.  I think that it's because I'm so uncomfortable and I have no control over it and no way to remedy it.  Last night I threw up at least once every half hour (yum, I know) and my throat was really dry, but if I drank anything, I would throw it up.  But if I didn't drink anything, I couldn't sleep because my throat hurt.  A lose-lose situation.  I can kindof drink stuff now but not eat.  And smells keep making me nauseous. 

And since I didn't go back to school today as planned, everything is a mess.  Say a little prayer for me!

Just kidding, tryptophan is not working.  I think our friendly P&C cashier sold mom a faulty turkey.  So now it's 1:47am and I can't sleep, and since I read somewhere that you aren't supposed to stay in your bed if you can't sleep (something about how your body stops realizing that beds are for sleeping), here I am again.

Actually, I have used this sleepless period to be quite productive.  First, I finished reading part I of the Sunflower for Auschwitz and After, and read some of part II.  I worked out my thesis and outline for the Celestina paper--it rots but at least it's something.  And in writing so much Spanish, I remembered that Julia had sent me an email a couple days ago to which I had not yet replied.  So I did.  And now I am going to check my email obsessively for the next few days until I receive a reply. 

Current Valencia memory running through my head...well that would of course have to be our first night out with Raul and the boys.  So, we meet up with them at our favorite bar, Dick Tracy's (which PS what a fabulous name for a bar--and no one there had any idea that they were drinking a bar named after many an American child's hero!).  Ha, side note-once upon a time I got a Dick Tracy shirt in a Happy Meal (so better than the beanie babies, don't you think?  One more reason that the eighties rock my world) and I wore it a lot and it got kindof ratty.  And then one day, I was overwhelmed by the desire to cut the shirt.  So I did.  I took a pair of scissors and snipped a little hole.  I soon realized what I had done, however, and used my sewing genius to stitch it up with neon blue thread.  Neon blue stitches on a ratty white Dick Tracy tshirt with "McDonald's" written on the sleeve=most ghetto shirt known to man.  And with me as the proud owner.  I still have that shirt, but I think I redid the blue stitches with white.  Sigh. 

Okay so back to the story.  We meet up with Dani and Raul and several of their friends: "Jimmy" and "George." Alas, Javi aka Screech was unable to join us as he was probably piloting away to some exotic destination.  He is so dreamy.  So it's the four of us (Me, Sheila, Jess, and Faye) and the four of them.  Ok, now we need to hail two cabs to get to Salamandra, the disco that they say they can get us into free (a likely story).  So as we are standing waiting for cabs to driver by, Raul asks which one of us speaks Spanish the best.  I tell them we all speak it about the same, so he waves me over, away from everyone else, where we proceed to have the best conversation of my life.  Pretty much he had decided that each of us was going to end up "kissing very much and maybe f"""ing" each one of them.  So much for being innocent nerd boys!  As much as I tried to explain to him that Faye and Sheila have boyfriends, and that Jess and I were not interested, he would not listen.  He told me that he surely wouldn't tell the boyfriends, so what's the problem?  Oh Raul, you are so tricky.

So the cabs came, and somehow I ended up in a cab with Jimmy, Raul, and George.  PS how did NONE of my friends come in the same cab with me?  And then when we got there, we couldnt find the others.  So the girls were freaking out thinking that I had been abducted and raped, when all along I was standing about two feet away in the opposite direction that they were searching.  But while the boys and I were waiting for them to show up, I had an enlightening conversation with Raul and Jimmy (notice: not George, because he, for all intents and purposes, is a mute).  It went something like this (but in spanish):

Me: Jimmy is a student too?

Raul: No, Jimmy is carnicero

Me: Is what? (temporary brain lapse)

Jimmy: ::makes sawing motion with arm:: carnicero

Me: OH!  Hey, I live on a farm!  I have cows!

Jimmy: I kill cows (laughs)

Oh, the memories.  I think that was also the night that the "My George" song was born, and the night that Jessica threw out the entire contents of her purse at 6:30 in the morning while looking for the keys to get back into her apartment after a long way back from the discoteca.  THAT is a picture that will live in infamy. 

Oh well, enough reminiscing for tonight.  Time to attempt to sleep once again....ten bucks says it's not successful...

Who am I kidding?  I have no one to bet against.  So not only do I not get to sleep, but I get nothing out of it, either.  My life is a sham. 

So Thanksgiving dinner tradition 'round here is that we go around the room and everyone says one thing they are thankful for this past year.  Or several things.  Anyway, I had to think about two seconds before I knew what I am most thankful...

Ah, Valencia, I can never escape you.  I am so thankful for all the wonderful people I met--from the professors (Alfaro, Supervia, Isabel), to Amy "our mom away from mom," to our family (Julia, our anti-mom, and Carlos and Lucia), to all our American friends (Libby, Jill, Bethany, and the rest...even Tim lol), to our Spaniards (EMILIO!!)--and for the means and ability to travel around, to God for creating such a beautiful country, to my Naz girls for being so fun and wonderful, for the three weeks after Spain and even the mishaps (the devil ATM machine in Venice!), and for my family in Holland, who are so wonderful and I grew to love and just miss so much....*sigh* sometimes it's hard to be home when you know about all the fabulous things that are just outside your little world; reachable, attainable, touchable; yet at at the same time, not.  I can't explain how much my five months in Spain (and everywhere else) meant to me, and how much they changed me, and how much I ache to go back. 

But I am also thankful for things here at home.  I praise God every day for keeping Grandpa alive just one more day, and for taking care of him while I was in Spain.  I was talking to him today (he came home from the nursing home to have Thanksgiving dinner with us) and he was complaining about how the nurses never let him do anything on his own because if he hurt himself, he would be much worse off than he is now.  And he said "but I've been gambling my whole life!  I plant a field of corn in the spring, and expect to have a harvest in the fall.  The weatherman says that there will be good weather tomorrow, so I mow a little extra hay.  And it rains.  So I lose a little.  That's part of farming.  It's all a gamble."  I get really sad listening to him because I can tell how unhappy and frustrated he is with his condition, but I am just so thankful that he is holding on and fighting as much as he is.  I just love my grandparents :)

And I'm thankful for my parents and siblings; ridiculous though they may be.  Ha, Daniel and Sammy Jean came up with this handshake that makes me pee my pants every time we do it.  We are insane.

More things to be thankful for this year...my job at church this past summer.  I am so totally thankful that God put me in that position and worked through me like he did.  I am frustrated with myself because I know that I didn't seek His counsel enough and things probably didn't go quite as well as they could have.  Stupid humans!  But I really got to know so many people from our church on another level, and now I have so many adults who are there for me all the time.  Mrs. Fox and Sherry are awesome, and are helping me right now with Auschwitz & After. 

The Step Kids have certainly been a blessing in disguise--although they have brought all kinds of stress and problems into my life, they have taught me more than any one else this year and have really made me excited to be a Christian and share Jesus.  I still pray for them every day, that they will keep hanging around the church and that some will maybe even come to Joshua Revolution with us, so that they can see that the love God has for them is so much bigger and better than the love the world has to offer.  God is so great.  Yay.

So much to be thankful for, so not able to keep my eyes open.  What's that stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy?  Big shopping day tomorrow (ugh, I hate crowds--but if I want a say in my Christmas presents, it's a must) and it's getting down to cruch time for my Celestina paper.  I'm think I have a thesis kindof...something about how Fernando de Rojas being a converted Jew is responsible for the religious hypocrisy of his characters...or something.  We'll see come Sunday night.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hello my pretty girls,

How are you? I am pretty fine, working so hard for saving money to visit you. Recently I m gonna have dollars this week, and I only will need the ticket of the plane from Valencia to NY.

You now Libby is here, and we are planning go together to NY in April, I will try going around the 19th of April, I don’t know why. Someone knows?

I will tell you more news. One kiss very grande.

PS EMILIO...why didn't you write the email in freaking Spanish?!  It would have made a lot more sense!  Aw, I miss him.  Sadness.

Right so already going through off-season withdrawal, and I don't think it's even officially off-season yet!  Wonder what Kasey's up to in the Bahamas...probably wearing dark sunglasses and a huge hat to hide from Michael Waltrip, who also happens to be there ("if i'm a girl, i'm gonna follow him around"). 

Track Smack today talked about Kurt Busch and his post-win composure.  The guy seriously kills me; he tries to be so intelligent and I don't think he really is.  Man, I wish I had been a NASCAR fan when he did the "Kiss my a**" thing at whatever that race was after he crashed.  I would have been a fan for sure--hilarious!  Personally, i think he should have stuck to that personae; it was much more personable and entertaining.  

Marty and the boys also commented on Tony Stewart and his dummy black flag move.  But am I the only one who thinks it sucks that he was able to serve his penalty under caution?  They had black flagged him like five bazillion laps earlier, and we thought he was just being a dorkface and ignoring them, but then they let it go under caution.  Ridiculous.  Favorite Tony Stewart moment of the season: when he pooped his pants at Watkins Glen and Steph and I called it about two laps into his discomfort.  Shouldn't have been stalking us, that's what he gets for that!  Oh Tony. 

I think the reason I miss NASCAR so much already is that my Celestina term  paper is kicking my butt and I am running out of excuses to not work on it.  If only there were a race to watch!  My biggest problem right now is figuring out my thesis.  Unfortunately, every time I sit down to write my thesis, I start thinking about Valencia and how much I miss it and then I start crunching numbers to figure out when I can afford a return trip.  And oh!  Emilio emailed me and the girls today, and it is just so funny that I have to post it.  But not right here because I don't want to...next post!

Anyone else think Kurt Busch is the original Keebler elf?  I love the guy, but man.  It's all I could think about during his little acceptance speech interview thing.  That and the fact that he needs to spend his off-season building up arm muscles so if he wins the championship again next year he won't almost drop the trophy again.  eeps!

To the tune of moxy fruvous' "king of spain"

Once i was a NASCAR driver (now i live in a tree)/I'm telling you i was the nextel champion (now i make yummy treats)

Yeah so it sucks that we havent finished the lyrics yet; my life is a sham, i know, i know.  We also (we being steph and me) redid lyrics to the Tony the Tiger song about Tony Stewart pooping his pants at Watkins Glen.  Maybe someday I will be motivated enough to put them on here for your reading pleasure.

so ends my very first season as a NASCAR fan. It has been unforgettable and I will be forever grateful to steph for getting me interested. My friends and family, however, will forever hate her for the very same reason. After the three hour car ride today back from Clarkson with Ben, he was plenty ready to stop playing the NASCAR game. Our conversation was punctuated by "Exit 42 Jamie McMurray" "Speed Limit 55 Robby Gordon Busch Car *spitting sound* and "NAPA autoparts Michael Waltrip Flames" Half the time he thought I was talking to him, and would just grunt and roll his eyes when I repeated myself. The best part was when he said "But I only know one driver's number--Jeff Gordon 44" HA! Imbecile.

I was reminiscing with Steph last night about the beginning of my NASCAR fanship. It was Watkin's Glen and I was determined to learn who some of the drivers were before we went. I had no idea. I remember beign there and Steph telling me "Oh look it's Robby Gordon signing autographs. So I looked and saw three guys up there, and had no idea which one he was. So silly.

At the beginning of the season, Kasey was my favorite driver because he was good and he was cute. I guess you could say I had a crush. But soon thereafter, as I realized that we would never work out because Kasey is so darn serious and shy on camera! Steph and I need to just be his PR people and tell him to act a little more alive up there. I no longer look at him as a love interest, but more as my son. I get so proud of him whenever he is doing well, like leading laps (Charlotte *cough cough*) and so upset when things go wrong (Hm, Charlotte *coughcough*) I am appalled when I hear him swear (he's just a baby! he shouldn't be saying those things) and laugh so hard whenever a TV reporter tries to talk to him about anything non-NASCAR and he just goes blank. No idea how to respond. So while I still think that he is the most attractive driver out there (even more so than Gaymie McMurray lol), and i would be stupid to deny it, i'm now a kasey fan because of how excited he is about racing and how fabulous he is doing. And while I cannot say that I am an "original" kasey fan because I didn't notice him 10 million years ago when he was in dirt cup racing like half the 10 year olds on his message boards, I can say that he is my original favorite driver, and that I have liked him ever since i first started watching NASCAR, and in that sense, I am an original fan. Which makes me really proud, too.

So pretty sad about Homestead; especially after watching NBS 24/7 and hearing him say that he was so ready for this season to be over. Meaning the Busch season of course, but I can't help but feel that that translates over to Cup. Although he has had more success than he probably ever dreamed of before Daytona 500 last February, there have certainly been some disappointments. To end the season like he did was certainly one of them.

I was thinking on Sunday night that it sucks that we can't just call up our favorite famous people and tell them what we think, especially when we know that it's something they need to hear. If there were celebrity hotlines, I can think of three celebs that I would call off the top of my head:

1. Kasey Kahne, to let him know that his fans are just so thrilled that he had such an amazing season, and that it must be real discouraging to nto have gotten that win and to have almost not finished the last race of the season, but think about how much more successful you are than any of the other rookies. All in good time, kase, all in good time. And God loves you, man :)

2. Michael Jackson, to tell him taht I don't believe anything they say about him and that he is so the best singer of all time. But just in case that stuff is true, i would say to stay away from little children, you sicko.

3. Whitney Houston, to say LEAVE BOBBY! Dude, he ruined your life. You so totally had the best voice in the history of the universe and you were so beautiful and now you are just a pile of waste. Girl, you deserve so much better than that! We know you love Bobby, but we all do things we shouldnt. God loves you girl and has something so much better in midn for you! Bobby is the devil!

So big thanks go out to Kasey and Michael for making this season so very memorable. Michael freaking Waltrip makes me pee my pants every time he opens his mouth and i want his job so bad!