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| Sad |
| 01.10.04 (7:59 pm) [edit] |
I leave for Spain in just 36 hours.....
I am getting a little sad :cry:
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| Penny for your thoughts... |
| 01.09.04 (11:12 pm) [edit] |
...three pennies for mine.
[b]Thought number one, brought to you by García Lorca, by way of Kristen Maurer[/b]
[i]"Un muerto en España está más vivo como muerto que en ningún sitio del mundo."
(A dead man in Spain in more alive than the a dead man anywhere else in the world)
-Viaje a la luna, 1929[/i]
If this is true, then boy oh boy will I have a great time starting in just two short days!
[b]Thought number two, brought to you by Lady Jocelyn in [i]A Knight's Tale[/i][/b]
[i]"If you love me, you will lose this tournament..." [/i]
(or something like that)
I thought that this quote is an awesome representation of my situation with my CDs. If I love God, I had to give up those CDs. It might not make sense to the rest of the world--why I did it--but I have my reasons and they are more important to me than a few CDs. William obeyed Jocelyn's wishes, and ended up winning both her love and the tournament. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices to reap greater rewards; sometimes we have to make sacrifices here on earth to reap heavenly rewards.
[b]Thought number 3, brought to you by Pema Chödrön, by way of Kate Birbilis[/b]
[i]"Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what's waiting out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it."[/i]
And so it is with this explorer. I can not wait for Monday to arrive and I doubt I will get much sleep in before then, but I really have no idea what I am getting myself into. I mean, I know what I am doing, but seeing as I have never done it before, I have no idea how I will be. I am so confident here, but it's amazing to see how quickly attitudes change when one is placed in a foreign situation. I know one thing: I have God on one side of me and Sheilita on the other, so whether I have the courage or not, they will take care of me :wink:
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| Packing |
| 01.08.04 (9:10 pm) [edit] |
I woke up this morning, rolled out of bed, and started packing my suitcase. That was 9am...
It is now 12:03am. I am still in my pajamas from last night, still wearing my glasses (never put contacts in) and slightly smelly. The good news is that my packing is done. I thought it was done around 7pm but after my brief IM convo with Spanish Lover #2 (Kristen) I was motivated to weed out some of the unnecessary clothing, and can now say that I am completely satisfied with my packing job. Woohoo!
Today, while being a scumbag day (to the extreme) was jam-packed full of excitement. Not only did I talk to Sheila on the telefono cinco veces, but I had a lovely conversation with Faye which reminded me why we should be so happy that we are leaving our Spanish classes for a semester. Scary people are out there. If only I had talked to Jess. It would have been like a pre-departure conversation day.
We also acquired a new lawn ornament. A shiny silver one shaped just like a new car sitting on top of our snapped-in-half cherry tree, and just in front of our mutilated mailbox. This was actually the third time this year someone has knocked over our mailbox, and second time in a year that someone has run into one of our pine trees and destroyed our cherry tree. I don't understand why drivers have such trouble staying on the road because there are no turns in front of our house, no hills, no big open spaces (where they go off the road anyway) for wind to pick up...I think our lawn must have a sortof scent that draws cars to it. That must be it.
Also Sammy was being silly and making weird noises and trying to lean on me while I was watching TV and Mom decided it was cute and attempted to take a picturee--seriously, who does that!? Anyway Sammy came up with a sneaky sneaky plan and the photo didn't quite work out the way Mom had hoped, thank goodness!
Thought of the day:
If I didn't know that I had a Big Guy up there looking out for me, I think I would be pretty freaked out right now. I leave for Spain in just three short days, and I wont be back for five months! But I know everything will work out, and worrying can't add a single second to my life, so I might as well just go with it. Which I am doing pretty well, I might add. So well, in fact, that I neglected to read the pre-departure orientation handbook, and in fact, have misplaced it, so Sheila is serving as my reminder of all-things-important. It's a good thing, too. Who would have thought we would need to bring [i]CLOTHES[/i] to Spain?!
Big day tomorrow, time for sleeeeeeep :D
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| Daniel |
| 01.08.04 (10:17 am) [edit] |
*Note: If you didn't know the Barney story (referenced on December 26) it's below:
Dan told me to make a subpage about him, so I did. This is your birthday present punk.
Affectionately referred to as "Punk Monkey," Daniel, at age 13, is the baby of the family. He enjoys long walks in the early morning down to the creek to catch snakes, put them in peanut butter jars, and wake me up with them in my face. He also enjoys beating my older brother Nathan's and and my friends with rubber snakes. He has made many enemies this way, and we never cease to be amazed at this boy. He picks fights with people who are three times his size all the time.
Daniel is my only little brother. I have two younger brothers, but there is no way that I can call Ben little. Ben is very tall. Normal people wear bathrobes around the house, Ben wears Holocaust cloaks similar to Fesig's in The Princess Bride. Ben scares my friends. Ben is a funny kid. But this page isn't for Ben, it is for Dan.
Daniel is a funny kid.
Example 1: Nathan is getting ready to leave for Cornell, and needs a backpack. Daniel just got a new backpack. Nathan steals it. Daniel throws a fit. Mom lets Nathan keep it since he has to leave right now. Daniel stuffs a stuffed Barney Doll (which he won as a gag gift in science the year before) in the backpack. Nathan arrives at his frat (AGR) at Cornell and opens his backpack in front of some of his frat brothers and pulls out Barney. His frat brothers were not impressed. Nathan gets mad.
Nathan comes home from college to do some farmwork some weekend and gets in a fight with Daniel. Daniel stuffs the Barney doll (which Nathan brought home to get rid of) in the middle of Nathan's laundry basket. Nathan returns to Cornell, and the story repeats itself. Now Nathan's frat thinks he has a Barney fetish and keeps trying to sneak him into the frat. GO DAN!
Example 2: On September 27 Daniel finished #100 out of 400+ runners in his cross country meet, so he got a Top 100 Finisher ribbon. Good job buddy, I still say you should be playin football.
Example 3: One morning this summer I woke up to my mom saying "Just pee out the back window, no one can see!" Turns out all of the door slamming wrecked the boys' room door and it couldn't be opened, even when the doorknob was removed. After trying to get Daniel out for over an hour my Dad had to come take the hinges off the wall and then bust the door down. Daniel had to pee really bad the whole time. Sucked for him.
Example 4: At my 16th birthday party (yes, that would be the birthday party of the gocart, the gator, the drive-by picking, and all the other fun stuff), Daniel made Bad Smelling Bottle Bombs, which became a legend after Elise and I wrote about them all the time in tenth grade English and sometimes in eleventh grade English.
Example 5: Every year for the last day or so of school Daniel gives himself a mohawk. This year it was for the last week or so of school. He plans to do it all the way through graduation because he is THAT cool.
Example 6: One day this summer Daniel and I were washing dishes and he turned to me and said "I'm not gay but my boyfriend is," and then went on washing dishes. I gave him a funny look and he says "WHAT!?" He is so weird.
Example 7: So Daniel started the whole "Your face" thing (see below) in my family, and after all of us kids had been saying it for a week or so my Mom decided that she wanted in on it. So Daniel is watching TV one day and mom comes in the living room and says "Daniel." He ignores her. "Daniel." No answer. "Dandandandandandandandan dandan." "WHAT MOM?!"
"YOUR FACE! AHAHAHAHAHA." Annndd she was trying to be cool but it didn't work out so well for her. Keep trying.
YOUR FACE: Here's how it works. Person #1 is making a statement that starts with a noun and is followed by a singular form of the verb "to be" (ex: is, was). Something like, "ugh. Mustard is disgusting." This particular comment would usually be followed by a lengthy argument about how ketchup is repulsive, an argument made by Ben, but that is beside the point. So
Person 1: "Mustard is disgusting."
Person 2: "Oh man, I know what you mean! And hey, you know what else is disgusting?"
Person 1: "No, what?"
Person 2: "YOUR FACE! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Aaaand if you spend a day at my house you are likely to hear a similar exchange at least 44509.4 times. It is now more common to hear something similar to my mom's antics in Example #7.
Go Dan.
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| My God |
| 01.08.04 (10:15 am) [edit] |
The next couple posts are taken from my old subprofile....and I just had to put them in here...so here ya go!
My God:
"The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands. And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything, because he himself gives all men life and breath and everything else. From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being. As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'" Acts 17:24-28
Draw me close to You
Never let me go
I'd lay it all down again
To hear You say that I'm your friend
You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause nothing else can take your place
To feel the warmth of your embrace
Help me find a way
Bring me back to you
You're all I want
You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want
Help me know you are near
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eterrnal. 2 Corinthians 4:18
I'm a sinner in need of a savior
I'm fallen in need of a friend
You are faithful when my heart is faithless
You are always there
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorius riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Do not be afraid of those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Matthew 10:28
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrew 13:8
If anyone considers himself religious and yet doesn't watch what they say, he is fooling himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:26-27
This day
All his mercies are new
This day
Every promise is true
Give me faith I need to know You
And trust You
This day
Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder. James 2:19
You give me joy that's unspeakable
And I like it, And I like it
Your love for me is irresistible
I can't fight it, I can't fight it
You carried the cross and took my shame
I believe it, I believe it
You shine Your light and amazing grace
I recieve it, I receive it
I'm bowed and broken, everything's new
All that I need, You're like water to seed
And how Your love, rights everything wrong
And in my weakness
You're ever stronger, You're pulling me back
Where I belong
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9
I'm trading my sorrows
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I am pressed but not crushed
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I am blessed beyond the curse
For his promise will endure
That his joy is going to be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning
Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: we know it by the Spirit he gave us. I John 3:24
I live for You, I live for You
When I think of all Your love has done for me
I live for You
Never looking back to what life used to be
I live for You
And everything I ever thought was mine
I'd give it all away to have You in my life
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint. Isaiah 40:29-31
Thinking how it might have been
If you had never walked into my life
I would have been nothing
Without you where would I be
Every moment used to feel
Like living through a cold and starless night
But everything's changing
Everything is feeling right
You gave me your love
Lifted me up
Now I'm looking at forever
When I never thought I'd ever see that far
You, you're in my soul
Wherever I go
Now I know right from the start
Your love was
Written on my heart
And you were waiting all the time
For me to come around
And finally see
All the love I was missing
There you were right beside me
Always beside me
I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4
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| Ooooo España! |
| 01.07.04 (9:57 pm) [edit] |
I just got really excited about Spain, and would call Sheila right now but
1. It's 12:59am
2. She has eight siblings that I would wake up
One more reason to not have nine kids. At least one more reason for me to not have nine kids, Sheila's mom is great at it, and, well, they are funny kids. Or so I've heard: I've never actually met most of them, or any of them for more than 2 minutes. But they sound like nice, funny kids. As are all kids in big families. Nice, funny...
I'm becoming delirious. Time for sleep.
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| Goodbye my friends... |
| 01.07.04 (8:47 pm) [edit] |
And so it begins.
I spent last night in Canandaigua with Jess and Megan, having a lovely time as always (especially at dinner, since Megan's entire family was on drugs; or maybe the brownies were really those brownies Harry talks about :wink: ) and then this morning I said goodbye. And now I won't see them for almost six months, and that makes me really sad, because I love them.
And then tonight Mariel, Jes and I went out to a birthday dinner and the movies (Happy 20th Jes!), and Jes leaves for school tomorrow, so I had to say goodbye to her, too.
I hate goodbyes.
But we saw Mona Lisa Smile, and I was absolutely mesmerized, the movie was just amazing. But it isn't an amazing movie like "oh my gosh, it's my new favorite," but I was just completely taken in by it, and, as Jes can testify to, I didn't squirm--so I must have been into it!!
AND I SAW THE PREVIEW FOR 13 TO 30 WHICH STARS JENNIFER GARNER AKA SYDNEY BRISTOW ON ALIAS, AND IT COMES OUT IN MAY AND HAD BETTER STILL BE IN THEATERS WHEN I RETURN!!!!!!!!!
I love Alias :)
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| I'm such a baby |
| 01.05.04 (8:26 pm) [edit] |
I cried in church yesterday. Nathan says it's because I'm emotional. Mom says it's because I'm touched. Dad didn't put in his opinion for fear of having the wrath of Martina unleashed on him, I think.
I say I cried because I can't believe how awesome God has been to me, and I am so not worthy of any of it. I was talking about my Buffalo/Niagara experience, and first I told my testimony about the CDs and all that that entailed, and then I talked about what touched me the most about the whole conference.
Say you have found the girl/guy of your dreams. You can't imagine living your life without them. You propose (or they propose to you) on the condition that for 24 hours every year they can do whatever they want, including be unfaithful. Would you do that to yourself? NO! (Well, most people wouldn't...there are some pretty sick people out there, some of whose blogs I have read...*shivers*) Well, would you agree to marry them if for 12 hours every year they could do anything they want? How about one hour? For one hour every year they could sleep with anyone they wanted, do anything they wanted. Would you marry them? I sure wouldn't.
So, why do we think that the heart of God would be any different?? We say that we love him and he is our savior and all that jazz, but how often are we faithful to him? For an hour every Sunday morning? What are we doing the rest of the week? We are cheating on him with his sworn enemy--Satan. For every choice that we make, every action that we take, we honor one of two people--God or Satan--and there is no middle ground. God sent his SON, his ONLY SON, to DIE for YOU and for ME! I can't even fathom how much that hurt him! But that is how much he loves us! Ahh! Tearing up again....
I guess I have to agree with Mom: I was touched, deeply, deeply touched. And really guilty. I stink.
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| Testimony |
| 01.03.04 (9:32 am) [edit] |
Have you ever had that feeling where you think your entire body is going to start shaking, and your heart is pumping so hard that you think it might just pop out of your chest, and all you can think about is one particular thing? Or maybe there is one particular thought, and you don't know why you are thinking it but you just can't get it out of your mind, and it won't go away but just keeps nag nag nagging at you?
Well that has been the story of my life for the past four years, and I've known what it was--the Holy Spirit talking to me--but I didn't want to let myself believe it because of what the Holy Spirit was telling me.
I never worshipped idols or other gods in the traditional sense, but music is a form of an idol in my life, country music in particular. I spend so much time with it that it takes up God's time and I am more concerned about building up my country collection than I am building up my relationship with Christ.
So finally, after four years of different instances where God was directly speaking to me (through speakers and Bible studies) and constant Holy Spirit nagging, I sold all of my eighty-something CDs, and gave away all of my burned CDs. And let me tell you, it was not easy and I almost cried about a million times; but now I don't have that huge weight on my shoulders and the nagging is gone. I used the money that I got from selling the CDs to buy Christian CDs, for music that will bring me closer to God instead of farther away.
Some people who know what I did think I am crazy, because why would God ever want me to do something that silly?? I find confirmation in the Scriptures:
John 14:15-17
If you love me, you will obey what I command (16) and I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—(17) the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, because he lives with you and WILL BE IN YOU!
[b]Luke 14:25-33
Any one of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.[/b]
Luke 19-21
I have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy: eat, drink, and be merry. But God says “You fool! This very night your life will be taken from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?” This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God.
And there you have it folks: maybe you still think I am a crazy, but I know in my heart that there will be rewards in Heaven for sacrifices I make down here. God bless!
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